When Being NICE Becomes Expensive
With September just around the corner and Quarter 4 approaching, I've been thinking about how often accomplished women make themselves smaller, cheaper or more accommodating than their expertise requires.
Recently, I had lunch with a friend who told me about a commission she had undertaken.
She had negotiated her services with a client at what she described as a relatively cost-effective price.
Then she mentioned something that stopped me.
The same client had paid a basic contractor three times what she had paid her to paint a brick wall.
My friend's work was carefully planned, exquisitely executed and visually stunning. It required specialist expertise, creativity, experience and a level of attention that transformed the brief into something genuinely exceptional.
Yet she had negotiated herself down.
I told her:
“You are being NICE.”
Not nice in the sense of being kind, generous or thoughtful.
Nice in the sense of not fully recognising, communicating and earning the value of your expertise.
And that is an expensive habit.
NICE: Not Identifying, Communicating & Earning
Not Identifying
You may not be fully recognising the value of what you know, what you have learned and what you bring to the table.
You may have years of experience, a proven track record and expertise that others would struggle to replicate.
But because it comes naturally to you, you can underestimate it.
You think:
“It's only what I do.”
It isn't.
Your expertise has been built through years of experience, mistakes, learning, judgement and results.
What is familiar to you may be highly valuable to someone else.
Communicating
You may know you are good at what you do, but can you communicate that value with confidence?
Can you explain not simply what you do, but the difference it makes?
Can you articulate the transformation, outcome or experience you create?
Or do you soften your language, over-explain your fee or make your expertise sound less significant than it is?
Perhaps you hear yourself saying:
“I usually charge…”
“I don't know if that's within your budget.”
“I'm happy to do it for…”
“It's only…”
Sometimes the problem isn't that people don't value us.
They haven't been given a clear enough reason to understand the value.
Earning
And then comes the part we can find most uncomfortable.
Does your income reflect your expertise?
Are your fees, consultancy rates, speaking fees, offers or commercial opportunities aligned with the level at which you operate?
Or are you still pricing yourself according to what feels comfortable rather than what reflects the value you create?
Because when you repeatedly undercharge, discount, over-deliver or give away your expertise, the gap between your value and your earnings can become surprisingly large.
Being NICE can be expensive.
As professional women, we are often taught to be accommodating.
Be helpful.
Be collaborative.
Don't ask for too much.
Don't make people uncomfortable.
Don't appear difficult.
And there is nothing wrong with being generous, collaborative or kind.
The problem begins when being liked becomes more important than being properly valued.
You don't have to become harder.
You don't have to become aggressive.
You don't have to stop being generous.
But you may need to become much more intentional about where your generosity ends and where the value of your expertise begins.
As we enter Quarter 4, ask yourself:
Where am I still being NICE — and what will I change now?
Where am I:
undercharging for my expertise?
giving away too much of my time?
accepting opportunities below my level?
negotiating against myself?
doing more than I was paid to do?
hesitating to articulate my value?
saying yes when I really mean no?
waiting for someone else to recognise my value before I claim it myself?
These aren't simply questions about money.
They are questions about positioning, confidence, boundaries and professional identity.
Y
our Quarter 4 opportunity
September is a useful moment to take stock.
Before the year gathers momentum towards its final quarter, take a step back and ask:
What would change if I stopped making myself smaller, cheaper or more accommodating than my expertise requires?
Recognise the excellence that is already there, and learn how to identify it, communicate it and earn from it.
Being NICE should never be the price you pay for being successful.
This September: Stop Being NICE
If you recognise yourself in this, September is your opportunity to do something about it.
Stop Being NICE is a focused month of reflection, practical exercises and action designed to help you identify, communicate and earn from the value of your expertise.
Week 1 — Identify Your Value
Where are you undervaluing your experience, expertise and contribution?
Week 2 — Communicate Your Value
How do you articulate what you do and the difference you make without minimising it?
Week 3 — Stop Underselling Yourself
Where are you negotiating against yourself, over-explaining, discounting or accepting less than your level warrants?
Week 4 — Earn From Your Value
Are your pricing, offers, opportunities and commercial decisions aligned with the value you create?
You don't need to become less kind. You need to become more intentional about the value you attach to your expertise.
A Private Invitation
I'm offering a small number of private NICE Intensive sessions throughout September for women who recognise themselves in this conversation and want to work through where they may be undervaluing, underselling or undercharging for their expertise.
You can choose a single 90-minute session to identify where the issue is showing up and what needs to change, or a four-session intensive to work through the full Identify → Communicate → Earn framework and create a clear Q4 action plan.
Places are limited and available by conversation.
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